


'Murica Leggings™

by covetsubjugation



Series: The Infamous Story of 'The Squad' [32]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, F/M, Gen, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 19:05:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7857481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/covetsubjugation/pseuds/covetsubjugation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"<b>better than you</b><br/>honestly why am i still here</p><p><b>jamesmadd</b><br/>you have no other friends"</p><p>*<br/>Lafayette owns USA leggings. It isn't as bad as it sounds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Murica Leggings™

**Author's Note:**

> So I recently found out Lin reads fanfic so basically if by some miracle he is reading my fic, what's up Lin? Also let's get a drink sometime.
> 
> Onwards.

**the squad** **  
** _aaron burr, angel, ayyyymaria, baguette fucker, better than you, disney god, dosiaaa, eliza, fight me, get ur own dicc, jamesmadd, peggy_

 **disney god**  
laf  
dear

 **aaron burr  
** Here we go again

 **eliza  
** i kinda want to be more than friends

 **dosiaaa  
** so take it easy on me

 **baguette fucker**  
seriously?  
and yes hercules?

 **disney god  
** what are these

 **baguette fucker  
** what are what herc im not with you rn

 **disney god**  
why are there usa leggings  
buried under all of my scrap fabric

 **baguette fucker**  
why are you looking at me  
it could be anyone's  
it could be alex's  
he’s more patriotic than me

 **fight me**  
that is the first time someone had called me patriotic  
usually people say i’m not because i complain about the us a lot

 **get ur own dicc  
** i think laf is trying to say you complain a lot because you care about america a lot

 **baguette fucker  
** yes that

 **disney god  
** and i think mY point is laf you sewed your initials on these leggings

 **baguette fucker**  
oh  
yes then those are mine

 **angel**  
all of them?  
all of their initials?

 **disney god  
** yes

 **angel  
** how did you even fit all on them on

 **baguette fucker  
** small stitches

 **disney god**  
they’re falling out  
i’m going to redo them for you

 **baguette fucker  
** thank you

 **disney god  
** but seriously why do you have them

 **baguette fucker**  
they’re cute  
and alex gave them to me

 **fight me**  
they look good in them  
so no harm done

 **disney god  
** i have never seen them in said leggings

 **baguette fucker**  
if you’re in the flat when i come back from class  
you can see me in them and nothing else

 **peggy**  
my young eyes  
my young innocent eyes

 **ayyyymaria  
** @ **peggy** i don’t think you can pretend you’re innocent

 **better than you  
** i did not need to see that

 **fight me  
** well i didn’t want to see you on this earth either so

 **better than you  
** honestly why am i still here

 **jamesmadd  
** you have no other friends

 **better than you  
** that is not true

 **jamesmadd  
** name one

 **better than you  
** burr is my friend

 **aaron burr  
** Please do not link me with you

 **better than you  
** i

 **dosiaaa**  
wrekted  
i spend too much time in this groupchat i am leaving

 **eliza  
** please don’t leave me with them

 **angel**  
i am vaguely offended i am lumped in with "them"

 **eliza**  
...  
you can't see me but i just made a face that i wouldn't have thought previously possible

 **dosiaaa**  
i'm leaving figuratively  
well literally since im going to put my phone away  
i will bring coffee back to the flat once im done at the library

 **angel  
** bless

 **eliza  
** can i have tea instead

 **dosiaaa  
** yeah sure

 **eliza  
** excellent

*

 **better than you  
** @ **jamesmadd** are you ever going to pick your stuff up  
it's clogging up my apartment

 **jamesmadd  
** i plan on making you walk over here and handing it over tbh

 **better than you  
** dick

 **get ur own dicc  
** who added these two in

 **jamesmadd  
** i added thomas and i think burr added me

 **get ur own dicc  
** @ **aaron burr** did you add them in knowing they were fighting

 **aaron burr**  
Well I didn’t know they were fighting  
I just wanted to annoy Alex

 **fight me  
** i am Above Discourse you can’t annoy me

 **baguette fucker  
** he rolls his eyes every time thomas texts

 **fight me**  
betrayal i have been betrayed  
and so do you???

 **baguette fucker  
** yes but i never said i was above discourse

 **get ur own dicc  
** you see the point i was trying to make here was that jefferson and madison’s arguments are pretty annoying but you lot are ruining it

 **disney god  
** “you lot”

 **get ur own dicc  
** hush you’re the one who gave me all the harry potter books for Christmas

 **dosiaaa  
** how about we all agree to argue in private chats

 **ayyyymaria**  
that seems like an obvious and achievable solution  
let’s do that

*

 **Thomas Jefferson </3  
** _online_

you’re still a dick

*

 **the squad** **  
** _aaron burr, angel, ayyyymaria, baguette fucker, better than you, disney god, dosiaaa, eliza, fight me, get ur own dicc, jamesmadd, peggy_

 **dosiaaa**  
you know when i said to argue in private chats  
i didn’t mean cease all activities here

 **aaron burr  
** Maybe this means all we do is argue and we are an inherently toxic friendship group and we should all never talk ever again

 **fight me**  
we don’t always argue  
didn’t i ask you on a date once

 **aaron burr  
** Weren’t we arguing at the time

 **fight me  
** okay bad example

 **aaron burr  
** I didn’t know it was possible for Alexander to admit he was wrong

 **fight me**  
hush  
it is 3am  
anything is possible at 3am  
speaking of which why are you two awake  
no wait don’t answer that

 **angel**  
you two have slept together naked before  
i think all boundaries have been ruined

 **fight me  
** doesn’t mean i saw anything

 **aaron burr**  
To answer your question I was working on my final projects  
You know the ones due in two weeks’ time

 **dosiaaa**  
i drunk too much coffee  
why are you awake

 **fight me**  
i don’t have a sleep schedule  
so  
let’s discuss conspiracy theories

 **angel**  
what  
that was a huge jump

 **fight me  
** i like conspiracy theories

 **jamesmadd  
** conspiracy theories are all made up alexander please

 **fight me  
** fight me

 **aaron burr**  
I’ll indulge you  
But mostly because I don’t want to do work right now

 **fight me  
** what do you think of the illuminati

 **aaron burr  
** They existed in the past

 **fight me  
** yes but how about now

 **aaron burr**  
I changed my mind  
I don’t want to answer  
I feel it would encourage you

 **fight me**  
i think it’s impossible that every single remotely famous person is part of the illuminati  
but the triangle seems damning

 **aaron burr**  
It’s a triangle  
A relatively common shape  
No one has the copyright to the triangle

 **fight me  
** the illuminati could have

 **aaron burr  
** Please move on

 **fight me  
** crisis actors

 **dosiaaa  
** what is that

 **jamesmadd  
** people believe some people are hired to be actors and basically cry and give fake interviews during any sort of crisis

 **dosiaaa**  
that sounds kinda insensitive  
you can’t just accuse random people of being fake

 **aaron burr  
** People have been harassed because of this conspiracy theory

 **fight me**  
i mean it does sound vaguely like something people would do  
you can’t always interview crying people

 **angel  
** the fact that you work for a newspaper worries me

 **fight me  
** okay some people believe the aids virus was man made to control the population

 **aaron burr  
** That’s just very sad and you are describing the plot of The Purge

 **get ur own dicc  
** aLEX YUO WOKE M E UP WITH YOUR pHONE GO TO B E D

 **fight me  
** that concludes tonight’s episode of conspiracy theories

 **aaron burr  
** I am going to regret letting him indulge in this conversation aren’t I

 **dosiaaa  
** yes good luck dear

*

 **baguette fucker  
** HERCULES WHERE DID YOU PUT MY USA LEGGINGS

 **disney god  
** on top of my scrap fabric pile

 **baguette fucker  
** THANK YOU

 **better than you  
** are you actually wearing those to school

 **get ur own dicc  
** no they have a photoshoot

 **better than you  
**???

 **fight me**  
our beautiful lafayette is a part time model  
who is also constantly late for their shoots

 **baguette fucker  
** sORRY

 **peggy  
** if you’re always late how are people still hiring you

 **baguette fucker**  
everyone in this industry is always late  
also i am very beautiful

 **better than you**  
so why are you wearing the usa leggings  
that sounds like a terrible decision

 **jamesmadd  
** like your birth

 **disney god  
** as their boyfriend i am very fortunate to say they actually do pull it off

 **baguette fucker  
** no need to sound so surprised

 **fight me  
** i know what im doing when i’m buying gifts

 **aaron burr**  
That’s not true  
You once got Washington that terrible gift

 **fight me**  
that was a once-off  
and that was when i still didn’t know him very well

 **ayyyymaria  
** what did he buy him???

 **aaron burr  
** He got Washington a toaster that toasted his face onto bread

 **peggy  
** i wouldn’t mind getting that

 **fight me  
** see at least someone appreciates my taste in gifts

 **eliza  
** what did washington say

 **aaron burr  
** He got really freaked out and left it in the office storeroom

 **fight me**  
wait what???  
he told me he brought it home

*

 **Boss Man  
** _last seen at 9:05_

you said you brought the toaster i gave you home

*

 **Aaron Burr  
** _online_

You said you would not tell Alex what I did with his toaster

Oops  
Sorry

*

 **the squad** **  
** _aaron burr, angel, ayyyymaria, baguette fucker, better than you, disney god, dosiaaa, eliza, fight me, get ur own dicc, jamesmadd, peggy_

 **fight me  
** i can’t believe this!!!

 **get ur own dicc  
** alex dear not everyone shares your sense of humour

 **angel  
** for future reference I have an Amazon wishlist do not buy me things that aren’t on it

 **fight me  
** okay rachel green

 **baguette fucker  
** i understood that reference

 **peggy  
** i understood _that_ reference

 **aaron burr  
** @ **baguette fucker** Aren’t you late for your photoshoot

 **baguette fucker**  
yes and i’m runniNG  
i can’t sweat i have photos to take

 **ayyyymaria  
** yo laf can i see your previous shoots

 **baguette fucker  
** yeah sure they should all be under my tagged photos on ig

 **ayyyymaria**  
thanks!  
woAH THESE ARE NICE

 **angel  
** they really are

 **baguette fucker**  
oh thank you!!  
i always vet the photographer before i go for a shoot so i know they will do a good job

*

 **The Poly Squad**  
_baguette fucker, disney god, fight me, get ur own dicc_

 **disney god**  
okay laf please don’t panic  
but i can’t find the dress i made you in the laundry  
even though i know !!! we washed it

 **baguette fucker  
** oh no i’m wearing it dw

 **disney god**  
oh  
okay  
isn’t it unironed

 **baguette fucker  
** yeah but rumpled aesthetic

 **fight me  
** laf looks good no matter what they wear so

 **baguette fucker  
** yeah and i’m going to be half promoting your outfits at the shoot

 **disney god**  
okay bless  
but it is unironed  
people are going to think i can’t do a good job

 **baguette fucker**  
oh  
it’s okay i’ll figure it out  
angles or something  
so the worst parts don’t show

*

 **baguette fucker**  
herc quick question  
how well can this dress hold up under water

 **disney god**  
it should be fine????  
it might be a bit see through tho because of the material  
but nothing should rip if that’s what you’re asking

 **baguette fucker  
** okay thanks bye

 **fight me**  
is this just going to be like that shoot from a month ago  
the one near the waterfall  
and you came back soaking wet and had a cold for like a week

 **get ur own dicc  
** they didn’t mention going near a waterbody today

 **fight me**  
yes but  
their question

 **get ur own dicc  
** true  
@ **baguette fucker** please be safe and don’t do anything too drastic or else you’ll be sick again

 **disney god  
** ily but you are not a good patient

 **fight me  
** should we pick them up after the shoot

 **get ur own dicc  
** do we even know where they are

 **disney god  
** did they leave a note on the fridge

 **get ur own dicc**  
yup they did  
they’re at the park

 **fight me  
** so shall we pick them up in like an hour

 **disney god  
** okay

 **get ur own dicc  
** we’re coming to pick you up!!

*

 **baguette fucker**  
oh you don’t have to!!  
i’m fine!!  
no wait you’re already here  
ily three  
i am so lucky

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Nice to see you again. How was your day? Good? I hope so.
> 
> Lafayette in USA leggings comes from this [sticker](http://www.redbubble.com/people/glueo/works/20973584-legfayette). You should buy stickers from this artist, they are pretty good. I own one of them and the quality is pretty good. Also, buy more because artists earn like $0.20 for each sticker sold. This isn't sponsored to be clear.
> 
> clipping. released new music today and I love Daveed Diggs. Just your casual daily reminder.
> 
> Some of you have mentioned that you listen to things based on my recommendation which blows my mind because woah I have influence. So listen to Monster Rally, they're pretty good.
> 
> Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://bisexualexhamilton.tumblr.com). Send me asks, I love asks. I like the validation I get from posting them.
> 
> Anyway, my fandom tumblr is [here](http://bisexualexhamilton.tumblr.com), writing tumblr is [here](http://covetsubjugation.tumblr.com), see you soon!


End file.
